Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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