New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
