so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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