Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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