I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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