HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
