She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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