If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
