Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just come out here and I will go home with you...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
