They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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