I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
