In the future we'll all be gay
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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