i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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