You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's blow job season.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
