Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
