piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm determined to sit on that face.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
