she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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