so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
