Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
