He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
