I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
