oh god the rape fog is back!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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