this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
