You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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