am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
