i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
