WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
