No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
