Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
