just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
