As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
