Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
