Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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