singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
