Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
