on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
