Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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