i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
