some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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