I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
