Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
