Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
