at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
