You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
