my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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