Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
