in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
