I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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