Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
