I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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