I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
