I'm drive I can fine osifer
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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